Thank you!!!
That was FUN ;)

the finale.

oh friends. it's been such a good ride.

these past few days were like a personal echo for me of days that have passed before this exact conference weekend years before.

and as the trial fades, choices made. i realized. i once again have been left with a more resilient desire to follow the Lord. to turn to Him.

satan does all he can to pull us down. ESPECIALLY when we have an opportunity this grand. to hear Gods words made just for us at this moment. its astounding really.

i studied yesterday but didn't record my thoughts. i am glad though that the words came into me. i am not perfect, but God knows my heart, he knows the effort i have put in. the even when my heart ached, i chose every day to accept and study, even if just for a few moments.

'righteousness is essential in the process of achieving an enduring conversion'

'come to a knowledge of the truth, be converted and remain firm in the faith of Christ unto the end'

i realize. God knows we are totally going to mess up.

'we are surrounded by so much that is designed to divert our attention'

He just wants us to try. to return from the bad as unhurt and fast as possible.

i feel like i have a new resolution. and that i can have peace.

'don't despair. time and trust are on your side....the Lord loves me and will make me equal to my mission'

these were some of the thoughts we were left with. these men, Gods words, are so inspiring:

' are the life and teachings of jesus Christ embedded in [my] mind and souls?'

'do [i] pray for miracles?'

'seek to know more about Jesus'

'speak more frequently about Jesus Christ'

'on God, that ye must build your foundation'

'reflect on the life, mission and Resurrection of our Savior'

'ponder the teachings and then apply them in your life'

'my counsel for all of us is to look to the lighthouse of the Lord'

'the Lord hears your prayers'

'find expression in all you do'

'we cannot be casual in how we prepare'

I hope that everyone has felt at least one piece of revelation, guidance. one happier thought, one more second turned to the Savior. that we have been humbled and come prepared to be inspired and directed as we learn more about the person we should strive to become.

don't be afraid, believe.

i don't know what tricks satan has pulled on each of you as this conference approached. but i know that we can win.

i really believe that God knows that 'we want to serve Him' and i know that if we 'Trust in the Lord with all [our] heart' that 'He shall direct [our] paths' and that 'His promised peace be with us'.

i loved doing this. and i hope to do something when this session becomes available.

i love you all.

Mother, all things and judgment...defective, effective and perspective

mothers

the story about the calves in the shade was really a good analogy for me.

"distraction doesn't have to be evil to be effective"

yesterday i had so many good things happen and was really happy and kept meaning to study. then it was late, and one bad thing happened and by that point it was too late. i was already too tired. and not in the right spirit. that's why it's so important to put the things of God first in our day, life is just too crazy to be able to count on 'doing it later'.

and our days and works aren't just for us. 'we never know' when someone needs us. when someone is watching us. how something we are being tried with is the exact strengthening we need to be able to help someone later.

all things work together:

i was just thinking about the boy pitching and hitting to himself. and i wrote in the margin 'i might not be getting one thing i want, but am succeeding at something else. look for the positive'. but now that i am thinking about it, i had a funny thought. i was thinking, 'okay if one thing is failing, then something else has to be working. but that means anything that is happening in our lives CAN be a good thing. it is always dependent on our PERSPECTIVE. aka. life is good, the fact we have breath makes it all worth living.

Gods will. don't whine. seek help. serve. own your choices.

i need to improve on all of these.

'in our trials, let us not become bitter or uncommitted'

in the margin i wrote, 'ouch.'

i'm pretty sure that was a kick in the butt for yesterday. duly noted.

developing good judgment:

i had never really thought of it in this way, the fact we alter entire relationships quickly, "we may often find ourselves making quick judgments about people, which can change or redefine our relationships with them."

"many blessings in life are missed because worldly judgment was applied to what was really a spiritual decision."

newsflash: EVERYTHING is a spiritual decisions.

our body = half our soul.

our beings = temples.

what we choose to do with ourselves is kind of a big deal.

suckfest.

god blessed me so much today.

and what did i do in return?

not schedule time to study and thank him.

fail.

"Now, I realize that it is much easier to look back when a trial is over and see what we have learned from our experience, but the challenge is to gain that eternal perspective while we are going through our tests. To some, our trials may not seem great, but to each of us who are passing through these experiences, the trials are real and require us to humble ourselves before God and learn from Him."

Our duty to God....be there, don't be square

'leading by example'

'this takes DAILY determination and diligence.'

i think something that really stood out the most to me was the emphasis on the physicality part of what relationships. the idea that it takes more then love in your heart, on your own time. but REALLY giving of yourself. your time. your effort:

'walking along side them'

'we must plan and take advantage of teaching moments'

'regular, warm, caring interaction'

'pay attention'

'listen'

'use the time'

'connecting'

'participate fully'

'tell them that you love them, and that god loves them'

'they must DO'

most of all, the question ----"Are you in there?"

it made me really want to strive to be totally in conversations and interactions i am having. i once read a talk, that i wish i could remember the name of. but the idea was to 'be there'. there was a rundown of things. something to the effect of "when you are in class, be there. when you are in sacrament, be there. when you are with your friends, be there. when you are called in heaven, be there." okay it was a lot more eloquent, but thats the gist. i think about that often. it's a horrible way to live your life dwelling on being somewhere else. being in a class, worrying about a project at work. hanging out with your friends, while really being distracted texting someone else. being at church, and trying to rush and make up your lesson for the next meeting.

but the idea is that each part of our life deserves its own attention, and at the appropriate time. really talk to someone, and freely. prepare for the sabbath before hand so the morning can run smoothly and focused on the Savior. get things in order and 'be there'. ESPECIALLY for your family.

don't be discouraged, no matter the situations you face.

"do all things that lie in our power" and remember "there is no failure except in giving up."

Generations linked in love...best gift ever!

i was just thinking about the game 'white elephant'. it's one of my very favorite things to play ever, especially with good friends and family. i was wondering, what is it about that game that i love so much? well, it's inexpensive, but it's so fun to go shopping or search around the house for a gift. it is funny, a good time to bond, it's usually played around Christmas time (the celebration of Christ), and it's not really so much about the gift as it is about the time spent together and the memories you take home with you.

when Nelson said, "they are literally helping to exalt their families", i thought BEST GIFT EVER! haha. i guess it's not exactly the same as white elephant but somehow. it's inexpensive, but putting in the work can actually be really fun. and it is so amazing! really, you are being the link between them and exaltation. the work put in and the temple service would have SO much more meaning! it is so amazing.

"this is joyful work." !

God just must love us so much. each and every child is so special. it must make Him and the people we serve so happy!

i can't wait for Heaven, i bet perfected beings give the best hugs ever.

He is Risen!.... i read, and i believe it

"if a man die, shall he live again?"--job.

"EVERY other living man or woman has pondered"--monson

this really stood out to me, you know how i love absolute terms. it really made me realize, no matter how much some people seem to careless about God and what they do with their lives...they can't help but think what is happening next. knowing that makes us have a job. we have answers that others do not. and EVERYONE cares about this answer.

"man alone received intelligence-- a brain, a mind, and a SOUL"

okay i was under the impression that every living thing has a soul?

okay this is a question for anyone who has an answer.

"we knew our purpose was to:

1.gain a physical body

2.overcome trials

3.prove that we would keep the commandments"

the thought, 'what about the 'that men might have joy' part'? it's not, that we just came here to play. i was thinking the joy comes through overcoming those trials and knowing we are making God happy. not just pure frivolity.

reading about Christ's last days always makes me tear up. i mean the physical pain must have just been excruciating. the thing that really gets me though is His never ending compassion. i am pretty sure the kindest words in all the scriptures are "father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." i am not even that forgiving sometimes when people cut me in the grocery line.

LOVE this parallel, i had not thought about it before.

"for as in adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive."

Men bring death. Christ brings life. thats so beautiful.

the story of Jason is so hardcore. i love it. we talked about it in relief society last week, i had a rare chance to go since my class was covered in primary.

"Called to serve their missions together--on both sides of the veil". really? heartbreak hotel. but so lovely.

i love how President Monson kept saying "i have read...and i believe". those are some of the strongest words. and i really feel like i want to start taking claim of my beliefs like that. turns out i know stuff. i have been reading...and i do believe. challenge to all to really take ownership of their testimonies. you put in the time, you are worthy to have all the Lord has for you.

We follow Jesus Christ (and from yesterday)....play nice.

neglected to blog about this talk yesterday.

That our children might see the face of the Savior:

i had 2 favorite parts to this talk. the first of which being that she outlines 3 specific things we are to do. and i feel like she got them in order and hit it SPOT ON!

first favorite part.

1. love the Lord. and love others

NOTHING we do in this life matters or is good if we don't have love for God. and if we disregard other people.

2. become a worthy example

okay, so you love God? what are you going to do with all that love and devotion? try and be like Him. and try with everything you've got.

3. teach.

only after you have your priorities in order and your crap together does she say to open your mouth and talk about it to other people. how glorious an idea this is.

second favorite part

"none of us will be a perfect example...our STRIVING to be worthy is an example in itself."

LOVE this. it made me think of my parents. they aren't perfect. they don't and won't ever claim to be. but they are amazing people and i know they strive to be better. and it has been a good example to me.

We follow Jesus Christ:

holy crap. i want to say like a million things that came to my mind.

"sacrament meeting is the MOST sacred and holy of ALL meetings in the church."

"if we are to be His disciples and to be his committed members of His church, we must remember and reverence sacrament."

this past week i had a really cool experience with sacrament. so i play piano in the sacrament meetings most weeks during the month. i only sometimes practice the hymns before hand. i usually wake up with exactly enough time, rush to get ready, always forget something, run on the bus and metro, haul it to the church building and get there just barely on time.

then last week i thought, wow i need to do my calling better and get myself to church earlier. i really practiced the hymns beforehand. i prepared the night before, cleaned my room, had everything ready to go, my clothes picked out, already had shaved my legs. and i woke up and everything was lovely. luckily enough, i remembered i was supposed to teach sharing time that week (which i had forgotten) but i had enough time to prepare and of course. i get to church and it was just lovely. inspiration just flew into my mind.

play nice.

"how we relate and interact with each other is a measure of our willingness to follow Jesus Christ."

"how we disagree is a REAL MEASURE of who we are and whether we truly follow the Savior."

did either of these statements make anyone else cringe a little bit?

"we can spend our lives trying to be more loving and kind, REGARDLESS of the adversity we face."

i really love when they lay out life goals for us. i know God loves everyone, but i guess it constantly opens my mind to the idea that He cares so much if WE are nice and love everyone too.

Turn to the Lord...and do it fast

Turn to the Lord:

I noticed a few patterns in stories that i found interesting. like they happen to all of us, but it was cool to be able to really identify and label them.

Something bad happens. exhibit a.

heartbreak-grief-anger-blame-revenge.

Once my sister told me 'jeanette, get ahold of yourself, you're spiraling downwards.' i think of that term often. when the couple lost their baby you could see how they were 'spiraling'. what it leads to is worse.

'seeking to ruin'. they became obsessive and eventually 'rejected' any form of help.

"where once there was faith and devotion to the Lord". they were actively participating members.

anyone can go from strong to bottom rapidly if you don't keep control.

something bad happens. exhibit b.

anticipation of a really awesome thing, instead everyone dies.

"without hesitation--turned to the Lord".

"IMMEDIATELY turned to the Lord and His Atonement....(notice the next 2 words)..without dwelling on why this could happen and who might be to blame."

didn't dwell. didn't spiral. stopped. turned to the Lord.

"they focused on living a righteous life".

FOCUS on good. don't DWELL on bad.

God gives us challenges for our own good. and sometimes they suck. but i love that he gives "clear direction and great promises...and shall by with you forever"....if we let Him that is.

He lives! all glory to His name!...life changing realization.

wow. i wish there were words for what i feel right now.

enlightened.

surprised.

happy.

encouraged.

humbled.

overwhelmed.

clarity.

anxious.

gratitude.

unworthiness.

numbered.

useful.

loved.

loving.

love.

the past few days i have been slowly putting some pieces together. i have been feeling as if things are building up. like. okay examples. i want to really work on my spanish, improve a lot. so i am registered in a class that started last week, that i love. i got a libro de mormon to study. i got another book to read on my free time to study. i live with a spanish family who would love to practice with me. i am on the verge of just attacking this goal. but that's it. is just the verge.

another. i have been wanting to really take control of the physical half of my soul. i have already established a habit of writing down all i eat for over a month now. i am back in brussels for a good while. lots of new dance, gyms, and workout programs are just starting up. i have been looking into tons of them, trying to make my own fitness program and mentality. i'm on the edge, but just haven't wrapped my head around it.

i have been dealing with a really silly issue that has made me realize JUST how impatient and selfish i have become. how i have been misusing my time and energy often.

but it just hit me. all of these things on the edge. i know why i haven't felt that final push.

i wasn't doing them for the right reasons. and i feel like i really just understood something vitally important.

"...His Atonement...it is vital that we each learn what we can about it. The Atonement is that essential ingredient of our Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness."

i realized. my life. its not mine. its not for me. i am made to be like Him. to live as He lives. to become just like Him. all of MY plans. all of what I want. they mean nothing if i am not focused solely on Him.

"Your understanding of the Atonement and the insight it provides for your life will greatly enhance your productive use of all of the knowledge, experience, and skills you acquire in mortal life."

You are my hands...wave, don't backhand

i really love the idea in this talk that people should feel at home.

"Let us lift those around us. Let us extend a welcoming hand. Let us bestow upon our brothers and sisters in the Church a special measure of humanity, compassion, and charity so that they feel, at long last, they have finally found HOME."

the gospel truths we learn should draw each of us just a little bit closer to the Lord. closer to heaven. closer to our homes. we should do all we can to encourage that growth in ourself and of course others.

"He always talked with, never down to, people."

i also really like the story he tells about the 'canned goods' members. i had an experience somewhat similar once. i did feel really sad and used for a time after they left. i remember my mom said that i should never regret loving people. that i am not the one who has to judge in the end. and that she has a personal witness of what a member does, one that will be hard for her to erase when the time really matters.

it took some time, but since then it has been pretty liberating. just love. don't worry about the rest. i will never regret being nice.

really care about people.

act in all diligence and preparation brings blessings....trust. change. path.

man, i took forever to get through these talks today. and i laughed about it when i read the "we are so easily distracted line in eyrings talk. i had SO many thoughts about these talks today.

act in all diligence:
i tend to find words. like, a word for a certain time and then always see that word when i study or listen. this talk had 2 of them, an old and ever on-going one and a newly realized.
1. nature. 'be a force of nature'. my favorite quote maybe."the holy ghost [can] reveal to you the nature of God". and "he nature had been changed".
i love the idea that not only are we to be powerful. but that if we are open to it, we can really see gods power. know for ourselves. then work to become like him. to be a force of nature, but directed in the lords way.

2. trust. i thought earlier last week how we are to TRUST the lord. and just what that word means. to REALLY have a close and safe and open relationship.
it really struck me today that he mentions twice that "he calls us and trusts us", "heavenly father has great trust and confidence in you."
really? me? ...why? but it is really making me think twice about if i let him down or honor his name more often.

okay also. i had a really 'duuuh.....football' moment.
"we are to learn our duty from the lord". i was like, great, thats such a tough thing to do.
WHAT? i am dumb. next paragraph.
"remember him...he called us. he goes before us". but it really clicked.
god doesn't want us to know about christ just because he is cool. he doesn't want us to study the scriptures. pray to him. all that jazz so that we can feel happy while doing our own thing.
WE DON'T HAVE OUR OWN THING. All of that is for OUR path. our path IS gods. they are supposed to be the SAME!
i feel like i, and so many others, spend so much of their time trying to find whats the right path for 'them'. here is our answer.


preparation brings blessings:
i pretty much just thought this talk was like an awesome set of reminders and personal check list to remind us what the lord does expect.

..

Done.

Continue in patience...keep moving.

it probably isn't a surprise to anyone that knows me very well that this talk has the most marks. made me cry the most. made me want to hit something. made feel angry, sad, and getting around to the humbled part.

"we want what we want, and we want it now."

i don't feel like i want a lot in life. i mean, material things have never really been an issue for me. i just randomly get ideas of how things should be. relationships. plans. adventures. events. i don't remember always getting so crazy to the point of obsessive about things at times. but a few times lately i have experienced the "some even feel their blood pressure rise" that uchtdorf mentions.

the problem is, when i tell myself to freaking relax and get over it, i go to the other extreme. a bit of sadness, lack of passion and apathetic when i shouldn't be.

so where is the happy medium? whats the key?

1st step---realizing that its actually selfish. i hadn't really thought of it that way, but this paragraph really kind of kneed me in the butt:

"Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed."

when i get these feelings i think about myself. my wants. whats going wrong for me.

2nd thing---move.

"patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

i marked so many sections from this talk. but most of them had a resounding theme--action words.

WORK. wait. steady and consistent work. pray. continue to pray. exercising faith. trusting. service. win mastery. act. continue.

i do have this idea or thing i remind myself. to not freak out or worry about things you can't control or change. granted, i follow that very poorly at times. but i loved this quote. it was a good reminder to me:

"Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith."

The divine call of a missionary & the magnificent aaronic priesthood...worthy, ready and wielding.

divine call of a missionary

the gospel. it can be "a lifesaving blessing to all who accept its message". i know most of the time we think of this in context of investigators. but really, the teachings found in missionary work are for all. and how often do i accept it full-heartedly?

i think a section in here was one of my favorites of all time.

"The missionary opportunity of a lifetime is yours. The blessings of eternity await you. Yours is the privilege to be not spectators but participants on the stage of [priesthood] service."

Its so AWESOME how monson puts this. our lives are so blessed that we have the very lucky chance to really act for good and for the good of others. legit.

Are you ready and willing to play your part? The Lord needs every able young man to prepare and recommit, starting tonight, to be worthy of a call from the prophet of God to serve a mission.

and its neat how even though full time missions are so awesome, how the idea of being worthy and willing is most important. i was meeting with my bishop for a time and preparing for a mission. i wasn't getting a yes answer and it will really frustrating to me, i felt like whatever choice i made would be a lesser one. he said to me, 'missions aren't life saving ordinance jeanette. they are wonderful things. but above all being worthy for the temple is most important.'

that has always stuck with me since. really. being worthy for the temple is the test of life. willing. and doing all we can.

the magnificent aaronic priesthood

as i started reading this article i thought. oh dang. it would be my goal to have an apostle of the Lord say these things about me:

"I am honored tonight to speak to the amazing young men of the Church. I have been blessed to meet many of you throughout the world. Your enthusiasm is contagious.

You face your challenges with extraordinary strength and courage. I express my love to you and the confidence I have in you.

You inspire the people around you more than you can imagine."

2 things from this article that hit me.

1. family = most important calling. i know it is super important for me to live this way of course. but i kept feeling really impressed about people i date or marry one day. like. this is something to REALLY look for in a man. and not just an act or they do an okay job. but truly adore the idea and practice of loving the family unit.

2. one of my very favorite quotes of all time is 'BE A FORCE OF NATURE'. and yes. i did hear it from an episode of grey's anatomy. but i LOVED that elder beck said twice 'BE A FORCE FOR GOOD'

we have real tangible power to yield through the Lords help. in NO way at all can we be passive bystanders.

Healing the sick....and preserving health

I just read the book called, 'The Lost Symbol' by dan brown (author of the da vinci code) and there is a really interesting idea in the book that i just was reminded of. There is a scientist that actually calculates the mass of the human soul. and she has this idea that our thoughts have real power, can actually change body chemistry and events that happen.

turns out, we believe just that. i think we often forget just how powerful our actions and our faith can be.

" I expect the healing power and influence of God to pass through me... When we are prepared, when we are holy vessels before the Lord, a stream of power from the Almighty can pass through"

That is just spectacular.

I know i don't have the priesthood. but i love that he talks about how important faith is. that its most important to the lord, first principle 'faith in the lord jesus christ'.

"The need of faith is often underestimated."

"As children of God, knowing of His great love and His ultimate knowledge of what is best for our eternal welfare, we trust in Him."

"faith means trust."

funny that this just reminded me of aladdin 'do you trust me?' but really. do i really TRUST the lord?

i think this next quote is going to be displayed in my home. i really love it, and want to try and live my life by it.

“Our family’s faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes.”

Place no more for the enemy of my soul...and he freakin means it.

okay what?

did anyone else notice how an apostle said this:

'access to a global cesspool of perceptions that could blast a crater in their brains forever.'

really? BLAST A CRATER INTO THEIR BRAINS?? was that really necessary?

i had heard and read this talk before and somehow missed that line before.

he freaking means it.

i realize more and more everyday just how serious this all is. i mean, i know that the Lord has a plan and that it is important, but now is the time-- we are being called to stand and fight.

how do we change and be better?

'start by separating yourself from people, materials, and circumstances that will harm you' and 'do not leave a forwarding address'

'just run—run as far away as you can get from whatever or whoever it is that beguiles you'

this isn't a time to float around.

'bold is what we need to be'.

i love the idea that we have control of so much. sometimes i forget just how powerful we are.

"Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only. As an ancient poet once said, let will be your reason"

that gives me so much strength.

this thought above all was humbling:

"remember that the only real control in life is self-control".

i have a lot of things to work on. but i was happy when i realized today that i set 2 huge goals for myself over a month ago and haven't missed yet. time to add something else, i am gunna try and figure it out tomorrow and let you know what i decide.

Watching with all perseverance...take a hint

Today was a really nice day.

To bad i didn't read this earlier in the morning when i should have.

I run head into things sometimes. This talk just made me think, 'wow jeanette, you're allowed to run your stubborn head straight into things, but start your day off in the right direction'.

a little too late.

"slow down and watch carefully", "direction in our lives", "i have warned you and forewarned you".

my goal for the rest of this preparation is to read these early in the morning and see how it effects my day better. i really think there is wisdom in these words. each day we go, we either chase, trudge, glide or run through our days--but no matter what they happen. so we might as well be going in the right direction and with a few good ideas in our head to remember along the way.

Helping hands, saving hands and when the lord commands....be legit.

"i was deeply impressed by their qualities, and i wanted to become like them"

"They follow the counsel of the prophet—not out of duty or responsibility but of their own free will, anonymously and joyfully."

i was thinking about missionary work today a bit as i read this. and sometimes i forget that no matter WHAT we are saying, it means squat if our actions and aura don't match.

and really. people watch all the time. its hard to fake that kind of genuine awesome. so thats something to work on and take notice of.

when the lord commands.

"occasionally we believe that there must be an easier way, a shortcut or modification of the Lord’s commandments that will accommodate our individual circumstances"

the lord totally burned me with that word MODIFICATION. because i find myself doing that.

'strict obedience'.

you don't have to be a stiff, but it seems there are things that need to be done correctly. god is pretty forgiving about most things, but i need to not assume or over stretch my luck.

The blessing of scripture...you keep me strapped in.

today sucked.

let me rephrase.

I sucked today.

the reasons don't matter why. what does matter? the fact that i gave in. in my head i thought, "jeanette, you are swirling. you should workout and read your scriptures or you will be sad."

instead. i ate cookie dough and went back to bed.

moral of this story?

well, i finally pulled it together.

the results?

the Lord knows his crap. and turns out, He loves sharing.

"The scriptures enlarge our memory by helping us always to remember the Lord and our relationship to Him and the Father."

I am a daughter of God. i know that if i would have really remembered that earlier today and gave it some weight in my decisions, things would have gone differently. God wants to "sheds light on falsehood and error". he wants to "spare us needless suffering and grief and at the same time help us realize our divine potential".

Knowledge is power. But only if we respect and act upon it. if not, its just something to condemn us and make us feel guilty along the way.

Korihor. you plague our world.

there is such an idea of being floaty and silly is whats cool. and being grounded is uncool. I am not saying you have to be a stiff, if anything, i have rarely been described as 'serious'. but there are absolutes. and they are very cool.

"a God of love does not leave us to learn by sad experience that 'wickedness never was happiness'". "

so how do we find the truth? how do we keep from floating away from god the constant?

the "scriptures are the touchstone". they are the anchor. God says 'yes, go out and explore, but come back to me.'

i am slowly learning that exploring doesn't mean floating or aimlessly wandering.

thats not exploring--that's being lost.

Stats and Mothers teaching children in the home...prepare and share

just realized i didn't post all my thoughts today! how silly.

church info talks:

one this i really loved was actually in the stats part.

new children: 119,722

new converts: 280,106

once me and gino were talking about religion and different faiths. and he asked about kids like why we have so many. and we were talking about how lots of faiths in general how children are a huge source to carry on the church. and this made me happy. over twice as many converts as babies.

that seems like a win.

mothers:

all i kept thinking.

prepare. and share. prepare... and share.

no matter where you are in life. callings. relationships. anything. make a goal, prepare. then share. share by the way you live most of all.

Love, Come Save Me By: RIght Away, Great Captain

Help them on their way home...why do we even want to go home?

I have read this talk and referenced it several time the past few weeks. it was nice to read it again though, new things stood out to me. a few simple points, i am feeling kind of to point today.

the story about the lady falling away, a line stood out to me this time that didn't before, "the associations with her friends provided a new feeling of being liked, and so her occasional resolutions to repent seemed less and less important".

this line really kind of scared me. often i think of sin in terms of consciously rebelling simply because i want something. like a rebellious kid. but this train of thought was more alarming, to think of not really loving the lord. like, not caring if i am close to him or not.

i think the real battle is exactly that. if satan can get us to forget the atonement, to not pray, to cut off our ties and love to heavenly father, sin becomes a seemingly natural thing.

love is always the answer. god is love. the way we love him is by loving others.

"you and i can expect a nearly continuous opportunity to help..."

its so important to establish patterns and "we really need to make plans which are not only wishes, but covenants." i was teaching clara this week how to pinkie promise and what it means. now as i think about it. the whole point isn't to say you will do something and then do it because you should. but to fulfill promises because of our pure love to those we make them to.

mothers and daughters....turns out i am my mothers daughter.

i just had a realization.

i am very much like my mother.

the other day i was rushing around with a with a stack of cards, letters, a primary lesson to prepare, visit teachee phone numbers to call and i realized. i am my mother.

at first i had this surreal moment, like, how did that happen? but then i realized. it makes sense:

i admire my mother.

i think its amazing the life she has had.

how she has always been the strong one.

the way she KNOWS the lord. like, its so deep in her.

her endless care and love to help people.

the acceptance she shows everyone.

how she can so easily reach out and talk to anyone, and make them feel wonderful.

"Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them...look to your mother. learn from her strengths, her courage and her faithfulness. listen to her."

Brother Ballard said, "even when you think your daughter is not listening to a thing you say, she is still learning from you as she watches you to see if your actions match your words."

And he is right. i didn't consciously try to be like my mom, or anyone in particular. but my mom would try and go to the temple every saturday morning. and before europe i had this idea in my head that i needed to go to the temple every week, and guess what day? saturday, night though. haha, not quite the morning person she is. the idea that i should stay with piano because it will help me serve in the church. of course, i didn't care about then when i was little. but i have already had 5 callings to serve in the church by playing piano.

I am NO WHERE near the woman my mother is, but it did make me happy to see that some of her amazing nature got through my independent thinking mind and has become part of me.

"Teach your daughters to find joy in nurturing children. This is where their love and talents can have the GREATEST eternal significance."

It's scary to see how some roles i play in my life now are already similar to that. playing piano in primary and teaching the 5 year olds. and my job as an aupair. i think about runny noses, smiley faces, bubbles, stories, princesses, treats, crayons, teething, colds, rubber duckies, and nappies way more than a non-mother usually does.

its neat and a somewhat daunting challenge to think that they are silently learning from me. i hope to be able to prepare them. to help them see their potential to be beautiful, intelligent, meaningful daughters and sons of god.

The Rock of our redeemer...thank you for not being quicksand.

The past few weeks i have gained such a testimony about the Lord, timing and hope. Sometimes i want things to happen NOW. or NOT happen now. I get so impatient. and then, the lord throws experiences that remind me, "hey. i am the boss. get over yourself and look around." that's exactly whats happened.

"Hope comes from faith in Jesus Christ. He has already overcome the world and has promised that He will wipe away our tears if we will only turn to Him and believe and follow.

Some who at this very moment feel desperate or discouraged may wonder how they can possibly regain hope. If you are one of those, remember that hope comes as a result of faith. If we would build our hope, we must build our faith.

Faith in the Savior requires more than mere belief"

I know that the lord puts people in our lives we are meant to help. that we are the hands to bring hope to others, and in doing so, find our own.

so be ready. plan ahead. and never lose hope.